So are the Days of Our Lives

Chaharshanbeh, Tir 19, 1387- at least in Iran, where they've apparently tested a missile that's capable of hitting Israel. How much this effects anything is only known by those who deal in such matters. Probably not all that much. Iran is currently surrounded by the American military which is in Iraq and Afghanistan. And Israel has nukes already and is capable of turning Iran into a wasteland. Time is running out for the Neocons, unless McCain wins, though, so they better do something quickly if they really want to further their warmongering.

In other parts of the world it's Hump Day. Thank goodness. If it was only Tuesday, I might have to strangle someone. And as I'm sure you know that makes today also (Wednesday, Bhud-waar, yawm-al-arba'a, Idal, dydd Mercher, Setting Orange). In honor of today, I ask that you turn up for your favorite song, sing aloud so all can hear, and annoy the hell out of your co-workers.

In 1540 Henry VIII annulled his marriage with his 4th wife Anne of Cleaves. In 1793 the importation of slaves into Canada was prohibited. You could still export them, but the demand for Canadian slaves has never been high because they're so, well, Canadian. In 1850 President Zachary "old rough and ready" Taylor died of acute gastroenteritis making Millard Fillmore president. In 1868 the 14th Amendement was ratified granting African Americans full citizenship unless they lived in the South where they remained second-class citizens for nearly 100 years. In 1918 a train wreck in Nashville killed 101. In 1979 a carbomb killed two Nazi-hunters in France and was allegedly claimed to be carried out by ODESSA. Whether or not ODESSA actually exists is disputed. But it's supposedly an underground organization of former members of the Nazi SS led by none other than Dr. Evil. In 1982 a Pan Am flight crashed in Louisiana killing 146. In 1984 God struck the York Minster with a lightning bolt. In 1986 homosexuality was legalized in New Zealand. And in 2006 a Sibir Airlines flight crashed in Siberia killing 122.

In ancient Rome today was the Caprotinia in honor of Juno Caprotina and was primarily celebrated by female slaves who ran about beating themselves with fists and rods, naked of course, at least as I'd like to recall it.

In Argentina it's Independence Day.

And in the island nation of Palau, located in the Pacific Ocean near the Philippines, today is Constitution Day. The capital is Melekeok and there's about 21,000 people who live in this country. 75% of the population is Christian and the major industry is tourism. Two seasons of the TV show Survivor have been filmed there. I have neither been to Palau nor watched Survivor.

Enjoy the day. If you get the chance to hump something or somone it will be better for you and hopefully for the subject (or object) being humped. In New Zealand that person can legally be of the same gender...enjoy.

Deus vult

Yeah, God wills it. That was the motto of the First Crusade. I don't know if that applies to the fact that it's (Tuesday, Mangal-waar, Seshanbeh, yawm-ath-thalatha, Fidal, dydd Mawrth, Prickle-Prickle). I don't know that once the ball's rolling it could be any other way. It's not like we could just skip today and make it tomorrow. Some would say that if "deus vult"... But, why would he (or she)? What's the point? There is none and it's probably pointless to even question it. Those guys on the first Crusade believed that they were being moved by a greater Power. Of course a lot of this had to do with the accusation of weatlh, but if you want to call that a divine calling, then so be it. It's sort of like Bush carrying the flag of the Conservatives with the underlying purpose of making all his oil buddies wealthy beyond measure. Some will question the success of Bush's Presidency, but it won't be the oil people.

In 1497 Vasco da Gama set sail for India. In 1099 15,000 starving Crusaders marched around Jerusalem in a religious procession. These millites Christi, or "soldiers of Christ", eventually conquered the holy city and killed everyone that was not a Christian, and probably some who were. In 1663 Charles II gave John Clarke a royal charter for settling the colony of Rhode Island. In 1889 the Wall Street Journal was first published. I have never once read this newspaper. In 1947 reports were broadcast that a UFO had landed in Roswell, New Mexico. In 1999 Allan Lee Davis was the last person to be executed in the electric chair in Florida. And in 2003 a Sudan Airways flight crashed killing 116 people.

It's obviously gone completely insane here at the Cheese Factory... The mood has gone from shock to anger very quickly.... More news at eleven.

This blog is NOT about Shrek

Good lord, it's Hump Day. And for me, it's the last day I'll be at work this week. PTL! That being said, it's once again raining. But I don't care. So, on this wonderful (Wednesday, Bhud-waar, Chaharshanbeh, yawm-al-arba'a, Idal, dydd Mercher, Pungenday), please be grateful for all that you have and thankful that we have a long weekend upcoming. The Cheese Factory is even closed on Monday due to the fact that we're having a new server installed, so my weekend will be longer than most. Yeah, I'm gloating.

Alright, so, in 963 the Byzantine army proclaimed Nicephorous Phocas to be Emperor of the Romans outside of Cappadocian Caesarea. In 1698 Thomas Savery patented the steam engine. In 1777 Vermont became the first US territory to abolish slavery. Those progressive New Englanders. In 1839 53 slaves took over the ship La Amistad which then turned into a big ol' international bugaboo. Then the whole thing was made into a movie by Spielberg. In 1850 the gas mask was patented by Benjamin Lane. In 1917 48 people died in a race riot in E. St. Louis, IL. In 1937 Amelia Earhart, from KS, disappeared over the Pacific. I think people are still looking for her. In 1962 the first Wal-Mart opened in Rogers, Arkansas. Two years later LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964. In 1990 a stampede broke out in a pedestrian tunnel in Mecca during the hajj and 1426 people died. I don't understand how the human species can evolve when people are still dying in stampedes. And it's not like it doesn't happen every year. Every year during the hajj there's a stampede and every year a bunch of people are crushed to death. Get some dang sheep dogs to herd these idiots already. And, lastly, six years ago Steve Fossett became the first person to fly around the world in a ballon alone. Why you would want to do this is beyond me. I would think that you would get lonely and I also think that you'd get bored. Not to mention the fact that you'd probably get hungry and it would likely be for something that you had no chance in hell of getting without stopping, like chicken McNuggets. This is why I will never be successful as an adventurer.

So, today is the Palio in Siena, Italy. I'd love to see this once in my life.

It is also the Feast of the Visitation which has nothing to do with aliens apparently. It is actually when Mary visited Elizabeth who was pregnant with John the Baptist. Apparently they were 1st cousins. I've attached a copy of the beginning of a Medieval text of the Magnificat, or the Song of Mary.

Happy Birthday: Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's; Imelda Marcos, who really liked shoes; Vincente Fox, the only Mexican President I could name; Jose Canseco, who took steroids and played the baseball; and my sister, Katie, who's the best sister ever, hands down.

Enjoy the day and the weekend. And please remember what it means to be an American... and if you come up with something that's interesting please tell me about it.

Quintillis

Welcome to July. Hard to believe it's already here. But it is. And it's also (Tuesday, Mangal-waar, Seshanbeh, yawm-ath-thalatha, Fidal, dydd Mawrth, Boomtime). At one point in all of our lives July was a great month, Summer vacation was really starting to get rolling, there was still over a month left of it before school began again. I miss those carefree days when all you had to worry about was...nothing. And now? It's just another day much like any other day. The weather's warmer today than others and the sun is shining. But I'm sitting at my desk at work and it could be any other day.

In 251 the Goths defeated the Romans at the Battle of Abrittus. In 1097 the Crusaders defeated the Seljuks at the Battle of Dorylaeum. In 1520 an Aztec army defeated some Conquistadors. In 1569 the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth was formed. The motto of this rather large country was Si Deus Nobiscum Quis Contra Nos, or "If God is with us, then who's against us". Sounds like good ol' GW. Funny how progressive the worldview of our leaders have become, ey? In 1863 the Battle of Gettysburg began. In 1870 the US Dept. of Justice was formed. In 1881 the first international phone call took place b/t the US and Canada. In 1916 during WWI 20,000 British troops died in one day. That's incredible. And we freak out everytime one soldier dies in Iraq or Afghanistan. We've become so weak. In 1931 United Airlines began service. In 1963 Zip codes came into use. ZIP is an acronym for Zone Improvement Plan, never knew that. Three years later the first color tv show was broadcast in Canada. In 1972 the first gay pride march in England occurred. In 1979 Sony introduced the Walkman. I saw a guy with a Walkman the other day and I thought it was funny. Now it's IPods and MP3's, smaller than a cell phone. Walkmans were so clunky, but damn they were so cool at the time... In 1980 "O Canada" became the official national anthem up north replacing God Save the Queen. In 1984 the PG-13 rating came into effect which still makes no sense to me. In 2002 a Bashkirian Airlines flight collided with a German cargo plane killing 71 people. And last year smoking was banned in all indoor public places in England.

Today is Canada Day. No one cares.

It is Republic Day in Ghana, which means "warrior king". The capital of this W. African nation is Accra and there are 23 million people who live in the country. 63% are Christian and the major exports are gold, timber, cocoa, and diamonds.

Happy Birthday: Estee Lauder; Sydney Pollack; David Duke; Dan Akroyd, Canadian; Princess Diana; Pamela Anderson; Missy Elliott; and ultra-hot Liv Tyler, meow. Yeah, I said it.

Have a good day and Happy July (and Canada Day).

Only Idiots Like Mondays

Alright, seriously, today could have started out better. The fact that it's a (Monday, Soom-waar, Doshanbeh, yawm-al-ithnayn, Kamal, Dyds Llwn, Sweetmorn) doesn't make anything any better. I'm tired of the dramaculous in all its forms. Please people, just let things be.

So, I saw a band called The Republic Tigers on Saturday night, and although it's not really my cup o' tea, it was preety cool. Allie likes this band and from what I can tell, they're getting ready to hit the big time. We also saw a pretty cool art exhibit on Saturday at the Kemper Museum but I can't remember the artist's name... if I do I'll post it since it was well worth a look.

In 1559 King Henry II of France was mortally wounded during a jousting match with Gabriel de Montgomery. This was apparently a freak accident and did great harm to the reputation of jousting. In 1688 the Immortal Seven issued the Invitation to William III of Orange to become the King of England because they wanted a Protestant king and the heir to the throne was Catholic. In 1805 the US Congress organized the Michigan Territory. In 1859 the French acrobat Charles Blondin crossed Niagara Falls on a tightrope. I've been to Niagara Falls, it's pretty cool. In 1860 there was a historic debate on evolution at Oxford. In 1882 Charles Giteau was hanged for assassinating Pres. James Garfield. Giteau was born in Illinois but wound up in Ann Arbor for awhile. Eventually he went to Oneida, NY and joined the Oneida Community where they gave him the nickname of Charles Gitout. That's funny. In 1906 the US Congress passed the Meat Inspection Act which is actually pretty important if you think about it. In 1934 the Night of the Long Knives took place in Nazi Germany. In 1953 the first Corvette rolled off the assembly line in Flint, MI. In 1956 a TWA flight collided with a United Airlines flight killing 128. In 1971 the voting age was lowered to 18. And in 2005 Spain legalized same-sex marriages beating California to the punch by three years.

Today is Independence Day in the Democratic Republic of Congo (not to be confused with Plain Republic of Congo). It used to be called Zaire if that helps. The capital of this C. African nation is Kinshasa and there's about 63 million people who live in the nation which is roughly the size of W. Europe. Despite being incredibly wealthy in natural resources the country can't seem to get it's crap together and is constantly engaged in internal strife. The major exports are cobalt, copper, and diamonds. 94% of the people are Christians.

Happy Birthday: John Gay who may or may not have been; Lena Horne; Vincent D'Onofrio; Mike Tyson; Phil Anselmo, who's been in some pretty amazing bands; and Matisyahu, the Jewish reggae guy... I hate reggae music, so not much more to say about this guy.

Enjoy the day, if you can.

Sunday

After a day spent in Lawrence, KS I may have some things I would like to discuss. First of all, I miss living in a college town. The majority of my adult life thus far, despite my most recent stay in the KC Metro, was spent in E. Lansing and Kalamazoo. I actually lived in Kalamazoo longer than any other place in my whole life. But I miss it, the atmosphere. I miss being around people whose sole purpose in life is learning. I am by no means an idealist and do not think that every frat boy and sorority girl is in college to actually become educated. But even at the basest level where college is really nothing more than a trade school (see business, engineering, and pre-med majors, e.g.), the kids are still learning how to be adults. Allie and I had the discussion today about the benefits of living on campus, and my input is that it is while on a college campus that you are exposed to real life for the first time (for those of us that go to college). That being said, it's not actually the Real World, only a shadow of it. It's the best part of the Real World. It's the Real World as the World should be. And in that regard, I do not miss living in a college town. A college town is an illusion. It's a utopia for the middle class. It's a time when you can afford to do things that you will never be able to afford to do again- if you want to be able to actually participate in the RW. I think many of us have tried to carry over our college life into the RW and have believed that it will work. The problem is that no two college experiences are the same (unless yours was a Greek experience). Thus, no one is able to adequately adapt their existential hiatus to anyone else's. I mean seriously, I was a Religious Studies major at a Big 10 university and spent a lot of time smoking weed and having sex when I should have been going to classes. Don't get me wrong, I studied a lot. I read a lot of books that most people will never read. I learned ancient Greek. But my college experience was vastly different from a lot of people that went to the same university as I. I never took more than 12 credit hours in a semester and only took Summer classes once. I grew my hair long and hung out with a bunch of hippies, even though I still claim to have absolutely no hippie tendencies. I had a job, in a library, and did most of my studying while I was working. In fact I even had sex while I was working in the library- more than once. How many people can say that they actually have had sex while they working? I don't know, but in college, or at least my college, I did. My point is: this is not the RW. After being out in the RW for a couple of years, I can honestly say that employers do not schedule work only M-Th. They also do not offer night shifts one day a week that are equivalent to three days worth of work. They take attendence. If your work is not done, you can rarely take an "I" and make it up the following quarter. You can't really skip an hour of work and go down by river and get stoned and read Virginia Woolfe and you certainly can't expect to have sex with one of your co-workers and write it off to a bad acid trip and expect that there will be no repercussions. However, I also know that it's highly unlikely to ever engage your co-workers in a conversation about the influence of social Darwinism on American nationalism over a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarettes without sounding like an a-hole and probably getting fired for being a racist (and possibly sued for sexual harrassment when you ask said co-worker if they want to go back to your place and continue the conversation over a fatty preferrably naked). So, do I miss the college lifestyle? Yes. And no. But college towns are fun to visit, and so I'll probably return to Lawrence sooner or later, or maybe some other town that will take me back to the illusion of the middle-class Utopian dream. And I didn't even get to grad school in this post...

Freitag hunds!

This will be short and to the point- it's Friday (Chukar-waar, Jom'eh, yawm-al-jum'a, Istiqlal, dydd Gwener, Pungenday). Our new attorney, Shrek, not only has a giant head and a round body, but he also smells, apparently. But, whatever, it could be worse.

I got to work late today due to a doctor's appt. And so, quickly, I hope y'all have a good weekend and a safe one. The COD will return in full force on Monday.

Peace Out.