It is upon us. The Year of the Ox. I was born three Oxen ago. I was hoping that the raspberry would also be an Ox, but she came early, and officially is a Rat (as is Jackson). But she is here, finally. And she is beautiful (just like her mother). She has a tendency to projectile poop. But that's ok, we still love her. At the end of the day I am happy and feel incredibly lucky at the life I have somehow managed to obtain.
It's been awhile since I posted and I've been meaning to post a new year's blog for about 30 days now. I have been busy though and the time is simply not there. So, let me take a moment to say Happy New Year and to reflect on the past year.
I completely misjudged how effectual the media is on the American psyche. They turned the Presidential campaign into American Idol. The people phoned in their votes and it turns out that an old white man cannot be the new American Idol afterall. McCain didn't have a chance despite his choosing of Palin, who was just attractive enough that they made a porno spoof of her. When was the last time a porno was made about a VP candidate? That alone made it a great election year.
I have also learned that the Cheese Factory is controlled remotely by a Jewish she-devil who claims to be a Christian. This proves that you cannot truly convert a Jew and no matter how much she says she loves Jeezy Creezy, she's still just a greasy two-faced sleezy be-atch, who I shall dub Judas Easy.
Speaking of Jews, once again the Israeli's and Palestinians decided to go at it just before the end of the year. There is no hope for those people. They are like two old men who are still pissed at each other for something that happened so long ago that they can't even remember who killed who's dog. I think the real problem is that they are unattractive people. I don't mean that they are ugly per se, they just aren't hot. I can't think of one truly hot Jew (above, case in point) or Palestinian. And we all know that the value of any person or race depends upon how hot they are. (At least this is what I learned on ET last night). Why does everyone get so upset when they kill each other? Why don't we just stay out of it and let them duke it out? Please someone win once and for all so we can move on to the next news story on NPR. (This will likely be about how Obama has been concealing his super powers and that his father was not only African but also descended from the a super race of black Jews who ruled their kingdom peacefully until an evil army of rabid white Southern Baptists drove them from their homes, enslaved them and made them listen to country music.)
Then there is the real news story out of Illinois, Governor Hair Folicle. Seriously, what's up with Blagoyavich (sp?)'s hair? Talk about alien species. That guy has too much hair for any one human being. I think he alone holds the secret to curing male pattern baldness. (The cure is by the way shaving your GD head and not worrying about it anymore.)
Once again Florida won the national title which annoys the hell out of me. I vote for Utah, not because I think they're the best team, but because I hate Florida. The Detroit Lions officially are the worst NFL team ever. Kansas City is a close second. And the Steelers are going to the Super Bowl!
The Economy- good lord- if there's something to be worried about I guess that's it. Unless you live in Wichita and then you also have to worry about a syphilis outbreak too.
So, we're excited about the new year here in the Williams household and are fortunate in that we have a little Rat to distract us from how bad things are in the great big white world. Stay strong people, put your head between your knees and hold on tight because a big wind of change is coming and there's probably some projectile poo flying in its wake.
