The Smell of Victory

Sunday night, 9:40pm, approximately. I have too much to write about, for once. So, I'm trying to pare it down in my head while I'm typing. I'm trying to pick one topic to focus on. It's been a busy past couple of days... There's the actual sighting of Sikhs on trampolines which is actually as amusing as it sounds. There's the re-discovery of the greatness of grapes. There's the 14-year old Chinese gymnasts who won gold and are being accused of cheating. And there's the fact that I haven't showered today and smell like a French rugby player.

You would notice, if you could read my mind that I left out the cicada killer wasps (this is actually what they're called) that have infested Allie's backyard. These insects are frightening. They resemble giant bees which look as if they could kill a horse. Apparently they are harmless and rarely sting. But I saw one carry a cicada into a hole in the ground. If you have ever seen a cicada, which is like the Mack truck of insects, you will undestand the fear that the cicada killer might bring someone who has a severe phobia of bee-type bugs.

To make matters worse, I just heard a song by N.E.R.D that I actually like. You have to understand that I was likely the original wigger of the Midwest. I was wearing Adidas tracksuits with coordinating hat and shelltoes in like 1986. The first concert I ever went to was Beastie Boys on the "License to Ill" tour. I saw them in Saginaw, MI at the Civic Center. I got drunk and got sprayed in beer which the Beasties were shotgunning off the stage. I was in 7th grade. The second concert I went to was the "Tougher than Leather" tour with the Beastie Boys and Run-DMC at Pine Knob. My dad took me. It was cool. But the Beastie Boys were so drunk they couldn't perform and got booed off the stage. Anyways, my point is, I was a wigger when being a wigger was abnormal. This was before rap music hit the mainstream. People thought I was strange. Seriously, people made fun of me. I was also described by some as a good dancer, but I lived in a really small town filled with white people, so that's not really a compliment. But, when I moved to Charlotte, NC in 1988 I did win a beat box competition in which I was the only white kid. With my prize money I bought the ID bracelet that I still wear to this day which has "BOX" engraved on it, althought it's so old that you can barely read it now. I like to tell people that it's an answer to a riddle: "What is the origin and destination of every human being?" Yeah, clever, ey? But really, BOX refers to the fact that I used to beat box back when I was a wigger and thought rap was cool. Now I mostly think it sucks donkey balls. I mean I still like some of the stuff I used to like, I like Eminem, D-12, Paul Wall, Atmosphere, and some stuff here and there. But most of it sounds like garbage. Good beats? Maybe. Good production? For sure. But the actual creativity of the lyricists is crap. However, once in a great while I'll hear something that I like, and I like this N.E.R.D. song I heard tonight. I also heard this group called the Flobots which I thought was pretty Flippin straight. If I had any money right now, I might go buy some CD's.

So, there you have it. Last week was a good week. Right now I smell like a French rugby player and I know what that smells like because one I was stuck on a twin prop plane with the French rugby team on a flight from London to Dublin. So, I'm going to go take a shower because I don't like the French all that much and I really don't understand rugby. Peace out.