World Turtle Day

The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round...

Welcome to the crackhouse of the KC legal world. I'm so tired of the whiny beatches that are our clients. And there is absolutely nothing to be done about it. But, thank Bradgelina it's (Friday, Chukar-waar, Jom'eh, yawm-al-jum'a, Istiqlal, Pungenday). This weekend is a three-day weekend thank the lord. Of course this will be my third long weekend in a row, but that's neither here nor there. It's my house, and if you don't like it, you can get the F#$K out!

So, in 1430 Joan of Arc was captured by the Burgundians. The Burgundians were so called because they always wore burgundy colored hats. This trait was a result of a coming-of-age ritural in which the white hats of young men were dipped into the new batch of Burgundy wine produced each year signifying their attaining manhood. Burgundy is the most expensive wine in the world which gives rise to a great deal of pompousness. The Burgundians were a hated lot by many Europeans, much the same as the Lombards. In 1498 Savonarola was burned at the stake in Florence for being a heretic. Heretics were said to smell like beef when they burned, which was proof that were indeed heretics. If they were good Christians, they would have smelled like chicken. In 1533 the marriage of Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon was annulled. In 1618 the 2nd Defenstration of Prague took place as the Bohemians threw a bunch of Catholics out of the windows of Prague Castle. Some of them survived the fall, which the Catholics attributed to divine intervention, while the Protestants claimed it was because they fell in a big pile of manure. In 1701 Capt. William Kidd was executed in London for being a pirate. Argh, matey. In 1846 Mexico declared war on America. In 1863 the Seventh Day Adventist Church was organized in Battle Creek, MI. In 1873 the North West Mounted Police were formed in Canada. In 1929 the first Mickey Mouse cartoon debuted. In 1934 Bonnie and Clyde were ambushed and killed by the police in Black Lake, LA. That same day in Toledo, OH strikers at the Auto-Lite plant engaged the Ohio National Guard in a melee. Nothing like a good melee. And in 1970 a fire on the Britannia Bridge in Wales caused over a million pounds worth of damage.

For Discordians, today is the Day of Disunity. So, please cause a raucous today.

And as implied by the title, it is indeed World Turtle Day. Turtles are weird but sort of cool. According to that one fable they are "slow and steady". According to others, they make good soup. I've never eaten turtle before and I'm really not all that interested in doing so.

Happy Birthday: King Philip I of France; Rosemary Clooney; Joan Collins; Marvelous Marving Hagler; Drew Carey; and Jewel, who I have to say is slightly hot.

Have a good weekend and a great Memorial Day. Peace.