Putting the Cart Before the Horse

Sweetmorn, Confusion 15, 3174

You got it, it's (Tuesday, Mangal-waar, Seshanbeh, yawm-ath-thalatha, Fidal). I can't print anything from my computer, so I've decided that I'm going to do as little work today as humanly possible. I'd like to tell you that something exciting is going on, and I guess it is. One thing I can say is that it's been an incredibly eventful year. And for the most part, a positive one. Aside from all the death and destruction that's gone on in Asia and the severe weather that's wreaking havoc in the Midwest, and Israel and Iran now exchanging some pretty threatening dialogue, well, you know... I guess my life's going ok. Barack and his wife have now totally freaked out older white people with their hand bump thing. That was a little too much for some people to handle. At least it wasn't a chest bump, though. If they'd done that, there'd be no reason to even have an election.

In 1190 Holy Roman Emperor Frederick Barbarossa drowned in the Sally River on his way to attack Jerusalem. Not a very fitting way for an emperor to die. In 1692 Bridget Bishop was hanged for "certaine Detestable Acts called Witchcraft and Sorcery". Was running around the woods naked really all that bad? I guess it was. In 1786 100,000 people died in the Sichuan Province of China in the aftermath of an earthquake. Even back then God hated the Chinese. In 1805 the First Barbary War ended between the US and the Barbary States. Here's a war we don't hear much about. Basically this war was fought over Mediterranean trade and the safety of US ships from pirates. Apparently the Barbary States supported piracy. This war ended in a quasi-victory for the US. In 1886 Mt. Tarawera erupted in New Zealand killing 153 people and twice as many sheep. In 1935 Dr. Robert Smith and Bill Wilson founded Alcoholics Anonymous. Soon after they began to be really annoying and preachy. No one liked them, but their methods and talk of a Higher Power have proven pretty successful, and our government fully buys into the Program, which if you've ever gotten a drunk driving you will know firsthand. And in 1947 Saab produced its first weird looking car.

In ancient Rome today was the 4th day of the Vestalia. And throughout the world today is Portugal Day. One thing about the Portuguese that I like is that they love cod and have over 300 ways to make it. That makes the Portuguese one of the greatest supporters of my cause. Of course they don't call it cod, they call it bachalhua, because they don't speak God's English, but instead speak a heathen tongue. But I don't care that they call it something else as the fact remains that they love cod.

Happy Birthday: Judy Garland; Maurice Sendak; Dan Fouts, who should have never left Monday Night Football; John Edwards, who should've been the Democratic nominee; Eliot Spitzer, who is one of those people that I have no idea what he's done, I just recognize his name; Kim and Kelley Deal of the Breeders; and Leelee Sobieski.

Enjoy today because there are more storms on the way.