Fidel Castro's Twin Sister

Hola. It is (Tuesday, Mangal-waar, Seshanbeh, yawm-ath-thalatha, Fidal, Setting Orange). With great joy I can pass on the new that Fidel Castro has stepped down as dictator of Cuba. With not so much joy, I can announce that his twin sister has taken over as office manager at the good ol' Cheese Factory. After carefully examining the efficiency of the office after two whole days on the job, our new regent has determined that the Cheese needs some new flavors. FTS!! "The revolution will not be televised."

There is a good chance that the trade embargo with Cuba will soon be lifted making Cuban cigars legal again.

In 197 Roman Emperor Septimus Severus defeated the usurper Clodius Albinus at the Battle of Lugdunum in what was the bloodiest battle between Roman armies. In 1674 England and the Netherlands signed the Treatey of Westminster which transferred control of New Amsterdam to the English who renamed it New York. In 1807 former Vice President Aaron Burr was arrested on charges of treason. In 1852 the Phi Kappa Psi fraternity was founded at Jefferson College in Pennsylvania. The panty raids began immediately. In 1864 the Knights of Pythias was established in Washington, D.C. Notable members of the Order have been Warren G. Harding and FDR. There are approximately 50,000 Pythian Knights who are charged with killing dragons and irradicating injustice. In 1878 Thomas Edison patented the phonograph. In 1881 Kansas became the first state to prohibit all alcoholic beverages. There is something severely wrong with Kansas. Why does beer sold at grocery stores have a lower alcohol content? That don't make sense. In 1942 the Pythian Knight, FDR, signed executive order 9066 ordering all Japanese-Americans into internment camps, which were NOT the same thing as concentration camps. They were two completely different things as designated by the definition of the terms. It's all about the nuances of the language my friends. In 1953 Georgia approved the first literature censorship board in the US in an attempt to be even more conservative than Kansas. In 1985 an Iberia Airlines flight crashed into Moutnt Oiz killing 148 people. In 1986 the USSR launched the Space Station Mir which was the first space station in space and made America's space program look lame.

Today is the Discordian Holyday Chaoflux. Please take a moment of silence in honor of Chaos which is the principle that guides all human life. It is also the first day of the astrological sign Pisces which is generally considered to be a negative/feminine sign. I tried to add an image relating to Pisces but I must be a moron and couldn't do it.

Happy Birthday to: the smartest Polack ever, Nicolaus Copernicus; Smokey Robinson (from Michigan); Tony Iommi (of Black Sabbath); Jeff Daniels (who grew up in Michigan); Seal (who was abducted by aliens); Justine Bateman (where are you now?); and Benicio del Toro (who is a great actor).

Enjoy Tuesday and remember: "When she decided it's your turn to get reamed, all you can do is bend over and pray for lube. Struggle causes pain."