Lupercalia

Welcome to the mother fucking day after. Thank baby Jesus, it's Friday (Chukar-waar, Jom'eh, yawm-al-jum'a, Istiqlal, Sweetmorn). I don't know about y'all, but I enjoyed Valentine's Day very much. Catholics around the world refer to the day after St. Valentine's Day as Coitus Interruptus. It's not the greatest way to do things, but the failure rate is estimated to be only 15-28% which is actually better than some other forms of preventative measures.

If you're wondering why the move to this format, it's because the powers that be, i.e., the head cheeses, are cracking down on intra-office emails. FTS. Whatever, now I can say whatever I like however I like.

In 1764 the city of St. Louis, MO was established. St. Louis is the home of Budweiser and Purina and I've been told that during the summer the entire city smells of stale beer and dog food. It's a lovely place- and yes, it is one of the many places I have lived. In 1852 Great Ormond Street Hospital for Sick Children in London admitted its first patient. The Hospital for Well Children closed shortly after citing a lack of purpose. In 1879 President Rutherford B. Hayes signed a bill allowing female attorneys to argue cases before the US Supreme Court. Many historians have cited this as the beginning of the end of respect for lawyers. In 1933 Giuseppe Zangara attempted to assassinate FDR but missed and shot and killed Chicago Mayor Anton Cermak in Miami. In 1946 the first general purpose computer was unveiled at the University of Pennsylvania (mascot: Quakers- which inspires fear in all opponents). In 1961 a Sabena flight crashed in Belgium killing 73 people, including the entire US Figure Skating team. You would think they'd make a movie about this tragic event until you start thinking about how many diehard ice skating fans there actually are out there. In 1970 a Dominican Air flight crashed killing 102. In 1982 the drilling rig Ocean Ranger sank off the coast of Newfoundland killing 84. In 2002 in the worst case of funeral service abuse ever, investigators found the remains of a bunch of uncremated bodies at the Tri-State Crematory in La Fayette, GA. In 2005 YouTube was launched. I still have not made the jump to looking up stuff on YouTube. I think I'm some sort of old geezer.

Today is Flag Day in Canada, National Day in Serbia, and Total Defence Day in Singapore. It is also International"That's What She Said" Day, so everyone should go around saying that phrase following statements that will be derived as both clever and humorous.

It is International Dance a Jig Day. And I will be dancing a jig all goddamned day long. Yee-ha.

In ancient Rome today was Lupercalia, which explains the title, of today's daily. It was a festival for the aversion of evil spirits and the purification of Rome at the beginning of Spring. It was held in honor of the She-Wolf who suckled the twins, Romulus and Remus. The priests of Faunus would dress in goatskins and sacrifice two male goats and a dog. Two young initiates would then have their heads smeared with the blood of the goats, skin the goats, put on the dead goatskins, and the proceed to run around the city whipping girls and young women who would line up to get whipped in order to ensure fertility. I have no idea what they did with the dead dog. I think they just needed something else to kill and there were always stray dogs running around Rome getting into the trash and causing havoc.

In the Eastern Orthodox churches today is Candlemas which celebrates Jewish ceremony of the redemption of the firstborn child ceremony held 40 days after birth. Obviously this commemorates Jesus's redemption ceremony, as he was Jewish before he realized he was a super Jew and needed to head into a different direction (or outer space).

Happy Birthday: Galileo Galilei; King Louis XV; Susan B. Anthony; Jane Seymour; Matt Groening; the comic genius Chris Farley, RIP; and Ronnie Vannucci, Jr. of the The Killers (only becauase I know someone who is really into this band does he get mentioned).

Enjoy your weekend and please do not take the brown acid.