Praise the lord, we made it through Monday. That being the case it's now Tuesday (Mangal-waar, Seshanbeh, yawm-ath-thalatha, Fidal, Boomtime). It's been pointed out to me that I am ignorant when it comes to pop culture. I have only a cursory understanding of what's going on the world of pop music, celebrity gossip, etc. For years I have actually considered this to be a good thing, but I am quickly learning that it is a character flaw. It is actually un-American to be as ignorant as I, and thus, the government has informed me that if I do not start paying attention to pop culture, they are going to put me on the shortlist for volunteers to undergo the new, non-invasive torture techniques the intelligence agencies are going to start using during hostile interrogations. My first test is going to be some form of trivia contest. I am nervous.
In 37 Caligula was proclaimed Roman Emperor. Caligula was likely one of the craziest bastards to have ever been ruler of anything. I'm sure it was exciting though. We're upset when a governor has an affair with a prostitute. Caligula forced the Senators' wives to prostitute themselves at a government fundraiser. Bill Clinton got in trouble for trying to get Monica a job. Caligula had his horse elected to the Senate. We get angry when it's obvious that some lackey takes the fall for those higher up in the government. Caligula has a peach tree tried and hung for the murder of one of his political rivals. We're so stuffy. In 1229 Frederick II declared himself to be King of Jerusalem, during the 6th Crusade. In 1241 Krakow was ravaged by the Mongol Hordes. In 1314 Grand Master of the Knights Templar, Jacque de Molay, was burned at the stake for heresy. In 1850 American Express was founded, don't leave home without it. In 1893 Lord Stanley donated a silver cup to the best hockey team. The Stanley Cup is still awarded to the best hockey team in the NHL. In 1925 the Tri-State Tornado hit Missouri, Illinois, and Indiana killing 695 people. In 1937 the New London (TX) School exploded killing over 300 people, mostly children of rich people. Nothing against rich people, but bad things hardly ever happen to them. In 1953 an earthquake hit Turkey killing 250. In 1965 Cosmonaut Alksei Leonov became the first person to walk in space. And in 2005 Terry Schiavo's feeding tube was removed and people went apeshit. This was one of the most embarrassing moments in the history of America. She was a vegetable. She had no quality of life and was being kept alive by a machine. It was not euthanasia which is a preemptive act. It was allowing her body to die naturally. Ask Jack Kevorkian (who by the way is from Pontiac, MI).
Today is Flag Day in Aruba. The motto of this 21-mile long island is "One Happy Island". The capital is Oranjestad and there are about 104,000 people who live there. Tourism is the major industry and it is officially part of the the Kingdom of the Netherlands. I would much rather be in Aruba right now, this dreary weather is getting me down.
It is also the ancient Latvian festival of Bindus Diena which has something to do with insects, washing cows, and having to get up before sunrise. FTS. In America it is National Biodiesel Day and after drinking some PBR and eating sloppy joes, I've got plenty of biodiesel right here. And in Nigeria, it's Mothers' Day.
Happy Birthday: Mary Tudor, who became Queen of France; President Grover Cleveland; Edgar Cayce, whacko; novelist, John Updike; Vanessa Williams (no relation); Queen Latifah; and Dane Cook, who is really not funny.
Enjoy your day and remember, "Some girls are just bigger than others."
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