Well, la-di-freaking da. It's Hump Day. Praise Jesus. Here at the Castle Cheese Factory, we like to say, Praise Chesse-us. And like all good cheesemakers, the most productive day of the week, is commonly considered to be (Wednesday, Bhud-waar, Chaharshanbeh, yawm-al-abra'a, Idal, Pungenday). In case you have been on Mars, March Madness starts tomorrow. This is the time of year when everyone fills out brackets and predicts who is going to win the NCAA tournament in the hopes of possibly winning the office pool and making everyone else look like an idiot. I always lose because I tend to pick the games based on a real life battle between the mascots. For example, Mississippi St. Bulldogs v. Oregon Ducks, in my opinion a bulldog would probably kill a duck if it could catch it. However, ducks can fly and bulldogs have breathing problems, so there's a chance that the bulldog would have a heart attack trying to catch the duck. Still, I'm going to go with the bulldog based on leverage and power- not to mention that birds always lose in my book because I hate them. This line of reasoning gets more difficult when you have a game like the Vanderbilt Commodores v. the Siena Saints. Only an idiot would pick a naval officer over an extra-terrestrial being, unless by saint you are just referring to a good person, in which case you have to take a military man. I think you get the picture...
In 1279 the Mongol Hordes defeated the Chinese at the Battle of Yamen. In 1687 explorer Robert Cavelier de La Salle's men murdered him because he had smelly feet. In 1918 the US Congress passed a law establishing Time Zones and approving daylight saving time. People in Indiana and Arizona are still confused by this 90 years later. In 1931 gambling was legalized in Nevada. In 1979 C-Span began televising the meetings of the US House of Representatives, generally considered to be the most boring thing to ever happen to television. In 2002 during Operation Anaconda US-led forces killed 500 Taliban and only lost 11 soldiers. And in 2005 Wales won the Six Nations Grand Slam rugby championship.
Today in ancient Rome was the Quinquartia, a five-day long festival in honor of Minerva, the goddess of warriors, poetry, and music. Women were urged to consult fortune-tellers while men were urged to consult bartenders. Poetry contests were held and plays were performed for the entertainment of the masses. If that's not enough, they had parades of wild beasts. Sounds fun.
It is also St. Joseph's Day, in honor of the father of Jesus (surrogate not heavenly). Joseph is the patron saint of workers. In Spain, Portugal, Belgium, and Italy, today is also Fathers' Day.
Happy Birthday: Wyatt Earp; Glenn Close; and Bruce Willis.
"Don't knock masturbation; isn't sex with someone you love the best kind?"
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