Seshanbeh, Farvardin 6, 1387-- Yawm-ath-thalatha, Rabi-al-Awwal 17, 1429-- Prickle-Prickle, Discord 11, 3174.
Ok, so it's Tuesday (Mangal-waar, Fidal) and I think that Spring has finally arrived. As many have noted, Spring is a season of birth, or rebirth, and as such there's a great deal of chatter about fertility and whatnot among those who think of such things. This would explain the eggs and bunnies associated with Easter. It might also explain my mood today. And it would explain why today was the feast of the resurrection of Attis in ancient Greece, who was born from a virgin and then went mad and cut off his junk and then died fighting a wild boar in France. He was reborn as an evergreen. Sounds a little strange. But apparently there is still a wild boar problem in parts of the world. And if wild boars don't scare you, then perhaps sea rays will. First the Crocodile Hunter and now some random lady in Florida. I think the rays have declared war on the humans. My advice, stay away from the ocean. If you want to be near a large body of water head to the Great Lakes. There are no dangerous animals in their waters- unless you consider irradiated fish to be dangerous.
In 1584 Sir Walter Raleigh was granted a patent to exploit Virginia. That sounds very scandalous. In 1634 the first settlers arrived in Maryland. Twenty-one years later the Protestants took control of Maryland after fighting an actual war with the Catholics. Things would be so much more interesting if Christians still fought battles. I'd love to see the First Presbyterians go at it with the Fifth Reformed Church of Christ. Hairnets and dentures flying everywhere. Pastor Bill yelling out orders to his troops wielding the Good Book and a collection plate. In 1807 the slave trade was abolished in the British Empire. That same day the Swansea and Mumbles Railway became the first passenger railway in the world- which is in Wales, by the way. In 1811 Percy Bysshe Shelley was expelled from Oxford. In 1911 a fire at the Triangle Shirtwaist factory in NYC killed 146 workers. In 1947 an explosion killed 111 coalminers in Centralia, IL. In 1955 US Cusotms agents seized copies of Allen Ginsberg's "Howl" because it was obscene. We do not live in a police state. In 1990 a fire at Happy Land, an illegal social club in NYC killed 87. In 1996 the standoff between the Montana Freemen and the US government began. We do not live in a police state. And two years ago, a gunman killed 6 in Seattle before killing himself.
Until 1752 March 25 was the first day of the calendar in the British Isles and America. This was a secular celebration of the feast of the Annunciation which is when Mary received the revelation that she was el prego. The day was secularized and called Lady Day, lady being Mary.
In the eastern European country of Belarus, today is Freedom Day. The capital of Belarus is Minsk and the nation has 9.85 million people. The country used to be called White Russia and it has an incredibly good beverage named after it. I like to use carmel-flavored vodka in mine although it makes it extremely sweet. Most Belarussians work in either agriculture or manufacturing and the majority of them are Russian Orthodox.
It is also Mothers' Day in Slovenia; Maryland Day in Maryland; and Greek Independence Day. To celbrate you should call your mom, listen to Clutch, and have a gyro.
Happy Birthday: Howard Cossell; Flannery O'Connor (never ready anything by her); Gloria Steinem, hero to feminazis; Aretha Franklin, who grew up in Detroit; Elton John, who is a knight and whom I have seen in concert; and Sarah Jessica Parker, who is angry that she is not all that sexy according to Maxim. The fact that she is publicly outraged by this is ludicrous. You would think after all of the stink that gets made about that B*&%H and all the money she makes and how people literally are probably wetting themselves just to get a glimpse of her, that her head would be so GD inflated, that a half-ass men's magazine's opinion that has the respectability just above toilet paper couldn't even get itself in the same room as her mega-giant Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade float-sized noggin. F&*K you, Sarah Jessica Parker!! I will now await the death threats from Matthew Broderick.
Have a good day.
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